Friday, December 29, 2006

My drug cocktail

How long can I justify taking this drug I am taking? It's not an antidepressant in the traditional sense of the word, but it is definitely a drug. And it's functioning like an antidepressant. The perpetual travel, the packed social calendar, the material extravagance, the incessant planning, and the persistent busyness appear to be an effective cocktail for keeping me off the ledge. And yes, I know that this isn't a cocktail designed for long term use.

Then again, it's only been seven months. And it's not like I'm hurting anybody right?

All the recovering addicts out there just cringed at that line.

But seriously, after the holidays, I will try to slow down. I'm sure a gradual cutting back will be easier than a total withdrawal. And really, anything that keeps me off the ledge right now works for me.


Blogger amanda said...

Have you talked to your therapist about using an anti-depressant? I was having serious drinking problems before I started mine...taking medication helped to alleviate the feeling that I had to self-medicate...

11:29 AM  

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