I Hope Not.

They say
"You'll figure it out"
Like I have any control over it.
Really.
I will figure it out
but
without the youthful delusion.
We all have our plans
but how many of them really come to
be?
As we intended?
When we intended?
With whom we intended?

I was going to be a veterinarian.
Then, an attorney.
I was going to stay single,
have one child (a girl),
live a cultured life,
be a superwoman.

Then I met Dalton.

Life changed those plans.
Love changed those plans.

I became a church lady.
Had a baby (a boy).
Bought a house in the suburbs.
Thought it would be nice to be a housewife
for awhile.
Enjoyed cuddling on the patio
as much as a night on the town.

Then
Dalton
Died.

So what if eventually I
"Figure it out."
My figured out plans might come true.
I might be an attorney.
have one child (a boy),
live a cultured life,
in the city,
be a superwoman.

But I hope not.

I hope life changes those plans.
I hope love changes those plans.
I am better because it did.
I am better because Dalton did.