Stuff
One of the most profound moments I had on Tuesday while going through Dalton's closet involved a piece of clear plastic medical tape wrapped around a piece of cotton. It was shoved in the pocket of Dalton's heavy green wool jacket. I can imagine him peeling it off his arm and shoving it there after donating some more blood to USC Norris Cancer Center. What struck me is that this little ball of plastic and cotton still existed, and Dalton was gone. In fact, there are bags of clothing sitting on my patio that have obviously outlasted their owner. I can't say why I found this so interesting other than that it crystallized what I had been feeling for quite some time. Stuff has no meaning outside of people.
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I had moments like that too when dealing with Eric's things. However, there are some objects of his that I don't feel fit this description; I have an album of all of his favorite photos that we took in Hawaii, his journal, his wedding rings that I wear everyday, and a talking picture frame with a picture in it from when we started dating. (The picture frame has a mini voice recorder clipped to the back. It was a gift from him on my last night on the mainland before I left for Hawaii.) It has a message from him on the recorder, telling me how much he loves me.
Those things, even though they are just material objects...god, I would be lost if I ever lost them.
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