Rings

A BIG question for anyone whose spouse dies. Just check out the young widow forums. Rings and sex will get the most hits every time. When Dalton first died, I decided to wear his ring instead of mine; an easy choice since my engagement ring was stolen and my wedding ring hadn't fit since I was six weeks pregnant. Darned water weight.

Then, about two months ago, it started to slip and slide around my left ring finger, so I moved it to my right hand. Don't ask why, but that finger was "plumper" than the left one. It felt "right" on the right hand. I was technically not married, but I still loved having it with me.

This past week, it has fallen off of my right ring finger three times. The first, while giving Iain a bath. The second, while drying my hands after doing the dishes. The third, while desperately trying to rid my hands of dead cat smell in the anatomy lab sink. The thought of Dalton's wedding band getting washed down the drain with cat fat and formaldehyde was too much for me to bear. I had to do something.

I tried moving it to the middle finger, but that didn't feel "right". I thought of wearing it around my neck but still prefer the mother-child pendant he gave me on Mother's day 2005. So, after much debate, I have decided to take take it off and put it in the safe deposit box for Iain. My hands feel a bit bare right now. But also like a blank canvas. Maybe this week, I will buy myself a ring that fits. Something that celebrates Dalton and love and who I am because of who he was.

Actually, I'll be happy if I can just find something I like.

I guess the truth is that life moves on whether we want it to or not.