Single Ticket

The Dodgers are in a penant race and I am watching the game alone. And again, this isn't the way things are supposed to be.

Dalton should be sitting in the chair caddy corner to me with a glass of this Vitiano Falesco in his hand. I should have put Iain to bed early, while Dalton set out some manchego and poured me a glass of sherry. I should be standing at the kitchen ledge in the pink vintage nightie that he gave me for Chrsitmas watching with awe (even after 10 years) at was an amazing host he is. On a summer night like tonight, the game would be on in the background but the night would be about us. Saturdays were our night, the only night we kept sacred.

Tomorrow I am taking Iain to his first baseball game of the year. He's been once before, when he was 3 months old, when his Dad wasn't sick. I don't know what to expect. Actually, i have avoided baseball for most of this season, but as I said at the beginning, the Dodgers are in a penant race. This isn't the way things are supposed to be, but it is the way that they are. And I want Iain to like baseball. I want it to be our thing. I want us to go and talk about Daddy and tell him about the game we went to when I was two months pregnant and the Dodgers clinched the division in the bottom of the 9th. I want him to see the picture of the three of us at Dodger stadium and know how much we enjoyed it. I want him to cherish it the way I do. So, we are going to the game and I will tell him the stories and he will babble and ask for more hot dogs and I will buy him another hat.

And hopefully the Dodgers will win.