Monday, January 30, 2006

My Life is an Episode of Grey's Anatomy

Today was one written for prime time. It began at 2am with a fever of 103.1. Draw more cultures - blood, urine, sputum, anyplace that could harbor bacteria. Grab the tylenol suppository. Call the resident on-call. Scurry scurry. OUCH THAT HURTS. YES I AM IN A LOT OF PAIN. NO, I DON'T KNOW WHY.

Turn on the lights. It's bright.

Wow. The wound is infected. Get the doc a staple remover. Oh my God, they're opening up my incision. There's pus. It hurts like hell. They're cleaning it with all sorts of crap. They're stuffing gauze inside me. WHERE IS MY PAIN MEDICINE?

We've already given you a bolus.

ITS NOT WORKING.

There, we are done.

WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD?

Tricia's here.

PLEASE JUST SIT NEXT TO ME AND LET ME SLEEP.

No, the nurse wants to increase the amount of "food" being given through the feeding tube. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. But that's what the doctor ordered. I DON'T CARE WHO ORDERED IT. I'LL TURN IT OFF. Ok, we'll leave it where it is.

Rest. Three hours of pain and noise, but no nurse.

12:30pm. She wants to look at the dressing on my wound. I'm still in a lot of pain and taking all of the doses I am allowed. She's looking at my wound. She's touching the gauze. She's pulling out WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? That bitch just puled out the gause that they pack inside of me just hours ago. GO AWAY AND CALL THE SURGEON AND GIVE ME MORE PAIN MEDICINE. We've already give you a bolus. IT'S NOT WORKING!

I'm trying to be joyful. Really, I am. But it hurts so bad. There's someone here to look at my epidural site. The place where my medicine goes into my spine. But, he can't look because evything is open in front, waiting for the surgeon to pack it back in. He'll be back in an hour. I wait.

The surgeons have packed more gauze. I am miserable. The pain doctor is back. "Your epidural looks like it became dislodged sometime yesterday. You have been working without any pain relief."

Fix it please.

6pm. It's fixed. I am finally getting medicine. My temperature is 98. We are getting ready to watch Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. My wife is sitting next to me holding my hand and it feels normal. I forget about the tubes and the pain and the cancer and I cry. I want to go home. I want to play with the baby. I want to be done.

11pm. Temperature 97.8. Please let me go home soon.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Tiffany said...

Tricia,

I just wanted you to know that Dalton and I are thinking about you and Jim. I hope things are getting better. Can you please post the address for the hospital?

Thanks,

Tiffany

8:36 PM  
Anonymous Simone said...

Dear Tricia and Dalton,
Steve and I are crying with you. Actually Steve is raging with you. It is so wrong that the nurses did not hear and respond to Daltons pain. I'm sorry to say this has been an experience shared by Steve. I pray for healing in this area as well. I do think you might concider lodging a formal complaint. Tricia, I know how important is your advocacy for Dalton. I bless you for it.
Love
Simone

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Tricia and Dalton,
My prayers are with you both. As I read your story, my eyes are full of tears because my father went through a similar case (honestly, sounds just like his story) and finally got to rest a year ago. For 5 years he also delt with an aggressive tumor that returned faster and faster every time it was removed. He went through 5 surgeries and lost part of the liver, a kidney, intestines, etc.....He was also fed through a tube,then did the clear diet, tried every type of chemo and radiation you can think of. My dad went through too much!! He went through excruciating pain, and towards the end, pain medicine wasn't doing anything! He has a very long story! He was in-n-out of cancer center and ER. What was once a very healthy and energetic man, ended up in a human being less than 100 pounds. During his last days, fluid was accumulated, tumor over took his chest cavity, couldn't breathe,unable to walk, you name it, he had it! But one thing he had was that no matter how bad things got, he always had faith in God! My mother became his 24 hour stand by nurse. What a tough job! I can totally relate to your story and feel every bit of pain, anger, and frustration! My prayers are that God heal your husband, give you strength, and keep your kids healthy! I miss my father soooo much, but I feel a little better when I think that he is no longer sufferring. May God Bless you all! You are constantly in my prayers!

1:52 PM  

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